3 June 2020

“Trying to be Tigger, but feeling like Eeyore” – I heard this title a few days ago and thought that felt just like me!

Feeling a bit blah lately. My usual routine of work, housework, church, family, friends, and relaxation time have for the last few months been thrown away. A new “normal” as the government have put it has to now occur due to the virus.

The thing is the new “normal” keeps changing every few weeks. Firstly, when coming out of isolation, going to the shops could occur for essentials only. It started with only 2 people being able to meet with you, keeping the social distance of 1.5 m or 6 feet between people who were not living with you. No hugs, washing of hands, or maybe even wearing masks needed to occur.

Church has been online. Well presented, but at first, if I was not careful, I was an observer and not a participant. It took me a few weeks to get used to this.

I have been busy moving to a new house but now that the busyness of that has lessened I am faced with so many questions. Questions I have actually been trying to push away. To not answer.

In the last month, we have been able to have social gatherings of ten then twenty people. Still keeping the rules of social distancing ourselves, washing our hands, etc. This has been fantastic. To finally have family gatherings again. Catch ups not just via Facetime but finally seeing and meeting people again.

But the feeling of blah has not lifted. The questions have risen up again and again of “What will eventually be the new normal?” How will our Church communities reconnect? How will our employment pan out? I could go on and on. So many unknowns!

Then what is happening across the United States with the protests and riots? The injustices that are seen more and more in our societies. The racism toward different groups that is occurring.

The “Me Too” movement was just an inkling of sexual abuse and sexual exploitation that is rife in the World. The kidnapping and killing of children and families in Nigeria, Mexico, India, parts of Africa due to differences in religions and drug wars between different cartels. Terrorists trying to bring terror. Atrocities to human beings that I cannot describe for they are that “bad.”

Oh God, what is happening? Where are you? Part of me cries out.

I realize I have been watching more News programs and documentaries since Covid-19, so maybe I have just noticed all of these problems in the world more. The media is so available to us all now on so many devices that news is reported instantly.

Then I read this from Pope John Paul II, “Yours is the gigantic task of overcoming all evil with good, always trying amidst the problems of life to place your trust in God, knowing that His grace supplies strength to human weakness. You must oppose every form of hatred with the invincible power of Christ’s love.”

And after praying about it all, the Spirit within me spoke.

“I have got you in your blahness. Lean into the knowledge that lies in your heart that I will look after you. I have you in the palm of my hand.”

I had been reading the same words that I was feeling in Isaiah 49, in verse 14.

“The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.”

And God’s response to Isaiah is the same response He has for all of us.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have compassion for a child she has borne? Though she may forget I will never forget you… I will not leave you orphaned.” (all by yourself)

I have got the World in my hands. I weep over its people, over all the circumstances that are causing pain and hurt and death to all my people. Tell them I love them and if they would call upon me, believe in me I will come to their aid.

Verse 23… “Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

So, I have given to God the blahness or the “nothing feeling” and asked Him to replace it with Himself. To fill me with His Spirit, with His everlasting Love which the world really needs right now.

Lord show me where I can bring your Hope to people’s lives. Maybe all I can do is pray and petition to God to miraculously work in people’s lives. To show Himself to them. To stop the evil. Oh Lord, may your Kingdom come and your will be done.

Be merciful. Be gracious. We need you, Lord. All people need you, Lord.

May these jottings from my journal inspire you to believe in and fall in love with Christ- the hope of the world, as stated in Jeremiah 17:7, ‘Blessed is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the Lord and whose hope and confident expectation is the Lord!’

Love

Rosemary

Every week groups of ladies meet together to chat about the things I raise in my weekly blog post and to chat about life in general. We call these ‘Heart Connect’ groups. If you would like more information please click HERE.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Where do you need to trust God in your life? Are there areas of ‘blahness’ that you need to ask God to come into?

Where can you bring hope to others in their lives?