26 August 2020

For those of you who do not know last week I had an eye infection. After feeling that it was irritated and getting progressively worse, I got some antibiotic eye ointment. After a few days it was not improving. It was getting worse and travelling from the top lids to the bottom lids and to the bags now developing (actually joining in with ones that were already there) under the eye.

I had to do some grocery shopping and pay some bills. So, when I went into the shops, I did not take my sunglasses off. I thought it might look too contagious otherwise and what with the contagious virus around at the moment would maybe get people to really socially distance from me. I was actually quite pleased with all the hand sanitizers around at each place because I was using it frequently so as to keep all germs at bay. I had my own supply in my handbag too just in case.

When I was at the counter to pay for my car registration (I could not do it online because I was changing state registration and this had to be done in person), I was standing at the required 2 metre distancing but taking extra precautions.

I felt the need to explain to the lady on the other side of the counter why the sunglasses. I did not want her to feel like I was being rude.

My parents had taught me there were certain things you did or did not do that were rude to other people, and this was one of them.

This same explanation was then shared at the next couple of places I had to go to. Again, things that could not be done online.

I started to think while waiting in the queues – Did the person think I was rude? Were they judging me for wearing sunglasses inside? Was this ostracizing them? I did not want them to think I was making a statement and judging them.

How often do we judge others on what we see or do not see? How readily are we in judging others? Maybe no one was brought up like me and had heard of certain things that are “Rude”?

I know little children who are around people who swear a lot don’t even know that’s a rude way to talk. To them it is just normal. These words come out in ordinary conversation and they don’t even know (till someone points it out) that is not how you talk.

Now I know there are a lot of adult people that swear in their language but often they do know that it is swearing and a crude way to talk and have chosen to talk that way.

Do we not as people, even individually, judge others according to our rules, our guidelines?

This made me think – What if others just don’t know the TRUTH. NOT the truth unto myself but the ultimate Truth? Maybe no one has ever told them.

Jesus warns us to not judge.

7 “Do not judge and criticize and condemn [others unfairly with an attitude of self-righteous superiority as though assuming the office of a judge], so that you will not be judged [unfairly]. ²For just as you [hypocritically] judge others [when you are sinful and unrepentant], so will you be judged; and in accordance with your standard of measure [used to pass out judgment], judgment will be measured to you.
Matthew 7:1-2 (AMP)

Oh and this famous line…

³Why do you look at the [insignificant] speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice and acknowledge the [egregious] log that is in your own eye?… ⁵You hypocrite, first get the log out of your own eye…
Matthew 7:3,5 (AMP)

So Jesus encourages us to work on our planks, our faults and failings, our things that irritate us, that stop us from seeing clearly, that cause us to be blind to truth, blind to live the way God has for us.

My explanation of wearing the sunglasses took on a whole different perspective. Out of love and respect for the person I was talking to I wanted to make sure that they did not feel I was distancing them even more.

If I measure out love, favour, kindness, and charity to others then that same measure will be returned to me.

If we judge others “favourably”, it is impossible to have a critical or cynical spirit towards others. It is difficult even to remain angry or bear a grudge against someone once you start thinking of what might have motivated that person to speak that way to you, act that way to you. What made them upset?

It is a lot easier to reach out in love when we let God judge other people’s motivations and not do it ourselves.

Now I’m not saying that I am perfect and have attained this way of living yet, this attitude towards all people. But I do know God wants me, us, all people to live this way.

May these jottings from my journal inspire you to believe in and fall in love with Christ- the hope of the world, as stated in Jeremiah 17:7, ‘Blessed is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the Lord and whose hope and confident expectation is the Lord!’

Love

Rosemary

Every week groups of ladies meet together to chat about the things I raise in my weekly blog post and to chat about life in general. We call these ‘Heart Connect’ groups. If you would like more information please click HERE.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

How difficult do you find it to stop judging other people?

Where can you offer love, grace, kindness and charity to others?

3 Comments

Valerie Simms

August 28, 2020 at 5:57 pm

Thank you Rosemary for bringing up the topic of judging others as this has been a challenge for virtually all of my life!
I was raised along with my brother and two sisters by Italian parents. Yes they displayed a typical attitude found within the
Italian culture; of complaining and criticising from how government members run the country to how people looked! On top
of the cultural critical attitude, their attitude towards their children reflected an old Italian tradition passed on from generation
to generation, that the harsher and the stricter the rules and the more critical the put downs, the more harder the punishment
the better their children will turn out to be! I recall in my later teens, my mother explaining to my father that the strap marks across the back of my legs and his desire to inflict more, in order to make me feel ashamed of myself in front of the Australian public was not the way that they do things here!
I have read psychology experts say that what we experience as infants right up till our late teenage years becomes virtually in bread in us that we accept as “normal” the environment, behaviour, attitudes, beliefs until we fully experience otherwise. That may occur by being exposed to how other parents interact with their children. How other members in a community display a certain amount of civility and respect for one another. The attitudes and behaviour observed by a person we come to admire and respect. I have experienced all of these but the most, greatest influence has come from knowing Jesus in a more deeper and more intimate way. And through Him knowing the perfect love and the will of the Father towards me; to build and not to tear down and trample underfoot. Finally getting to know my greatest Helper, the Holy Spirit, guiding, teaching, working within me, to be more like my ultimate mentor, my supreme hero, my greatest example of who our Heavenly Father intended for me to be! Does this mean I no longer think, behave, react the way I’ve been brought up? In some cases I see a dramatic change and in other cases I still see a residue. But the difference now is that 99% of the time I am aware and the Good Lord who gives me one chance after another, let me also mention most strongly here, with the help of the Holy Spirit! Without Him I believe it would be impossible to live let alone change. I would not like to leave out from my reply the residue of our fallen state from grace due to the repercussion of sin. As I came to realise that no one on this earth living is perfect and without sin, and many of us if we are honest don’t like this within ourselves. The word sin in our most recent culture is not used. To replace this word nowadays it’s more common to use words like faulty, mistake, mental issue, criminal behaviour, unacceptable behaviour, rude, apathetic, violent, abuse, perpetrator etc….anything else but the word sin! Thank God we still use the word evil! But not from where this word originated! This is just my thought, that sometimes we may judge others, to feel better about ourselves. We may find it easier to point at the faults of others, the sin of others rather look at our own. We may try to cover up extremely unpleasant feelings of inadequacy, and the fear of being judged ourselves, of being exposed of our past sins. Before anyone has a chance to judge and condemn us as being unacceptable human beings, we may get in there first, boosting up our false sense of self and thinking we are eliminating our own insecurities that way. Or we may just want to feel we belong, be accepted by society at large, we fit in and anyone who is different, who disagrees, who says otherwise is considered an enemy at worse or woefully mistaken and out of touch with what is seen as acceptable reality by the mass majority. I could go on for ages Rosemary as you and all the viewers on this blog can see it’s a topic that I am profoundly interested in, that I have experienced much and been affected by!!!

Valerie Simms

August 28, 2020 at 7:10 pm

Sorry I forgot to answer part two of your question! I don’t want to say too much more as i think I’ve written more than I expected to! Rosemary I feel the opportunity seems to present itself to me virtually every day if I pay attention to them and remind myself to be aware of having the intention to offer love, kindness, grace and charity to those around me. There was an incident where I saw a lady sitting down on the cement path near a shopping centre, smoking a cigarette and had another in her hat while waiting for passersby’s to drop money into her hat. She asked me and to be honest I had no change on me. I remember saying ” It’s a shame you’re smoking cigarettes”. My concern for the person’s health outweighed her request for money. As i was thinking what could I do instead, I thought perhaps I could buy her food as I entered the shopping mall. I went and did my task that I came to do first and completely forgot about the lady, until it was too late! I missed the opportunity! i didn’t remind myself of the importance it might have meant for this lady to acknowledge her needs. Not to mention that she, like me, is made in the image and likeness of God Himself and deserves the respect, the recognition that she is worthy of her basic needs being met!

Cathy

August 29, 2020 at 2:23 am

It is especially difficult to refrain from judging during the current US presidential election campaign season. People seem to have closed their minds, hardened their hearts and solidified their position without benefit of honest debate or fact checking. Sad times for the USA!

Valerie Simms

August 28, 2020 at 5:57 pm

Thank you Rosemary for bringing up the topic of judging others as this has been a challenge for virtually all of my life!
I was raised along with my brother and two sisters by Italian parents. Yes they displayed a typical attitude found within the
Italian culture; of complaining and criticising from how government members run the country to how people looked! On top
of the cultural critical attitude, their attitude towards their children reflected an old Italian tradition passed on from generation
to generation, that the harsher and the stricter the rules and the more critical the put downs, the more harder the punishment
the better their children will turn out to be! I recall in my later teens, my mother explaining to my father that the strap marks across the back of my legs and his desire to inflict more, in order to make me feel ashamed of myself in front of the Australian public was not the way that they do things here!
I have read psychology experts say that what we experience as infants right up till our late teenage years becomes virtually in bread in us that we accept as “normal” the environment, behaviour, attitudes, beliefs until we fully experience otherwise. That may occur by being exposed to how other parents interact with their children. How other members in a community display a certain amount of civility and respect for one another. The attitudes and behaviour observed by a person we come to admire and respect. I have experienced all of these but the most, greatest influence has come from knowing Jesus in a more deeper and more intimate way. And through Him knowing the perfect love and the will of the Father towards me; to build and not to tear down and trample underfoot. Finally getting to know my greatest Helper, the Holy Spirit, guiding, teaching, working within me, to be more like my ultimate mentor, my supreme hero, my greatest example of who our Heavenly Father intended for me to be! Does this mean I no longer think, behave, react the way I’ve been brought up? In some cases I see a dramatic change and in other cases I still see a residue. But the difference now is that 99% of the time I am aware and the Good Lord who gives me one chance after another, let me also mention most strongly here, with the help of the Holy Spirit! Without Him I believe it would be impossible to live let alone change. I would not like to leave out from my reply the residue of our fallen state from grace due to the repercussion of sin. As I came to realise that no one on this earth living is perfect and without sin, and many of us if we are honest don’t like this within ourselves. The word sin in our most recent culture is not used. To replace this word nowadays it’s more common to use words like faulty, mistake, mental issue, criminal behaviour, unacceptable behaviour, rude, apathetic, violent, abuse, perpetrator etc….anything else but the word sin! Thank God we still use the word evil! But not from where this word originated! This is just my thought, that sometimes we may judge others, to feel better about ourselves. We may find it easier to point at the faults of others, the sin of others rather look at our own. We may try to cover up extremely unpleasant feelings of inadequacy, and the fear of being judged ourselves, of being exposed of our past sins. Before anyone has a chance to judge and condemn us as being unacceptable human beings, we may get in there first, boosting up our false sense of self and thinking we are eliminating our own insecurities that way. Or we may just want to feel we belong, be accepted by society at large, we fit in and anyone who is different, who disagrees, who says otherwise is considered an enemy at worse or woefully mistaken and out of touch with what is seen as acceptable reality by the mass majority. I could go on for ages Rosemary as you and all the viewers on this blog can see it’s a topic that I am profoundly interested in, that I have experienced much and been affected by!!!
Valerie Simms

August 28, 2020 at 7:10 pm

Sorry I forgot to answer part two of your question! I don’t want to say too much more as i think I’ve written more than I expected to! Rosemary I feel the opportunity seems to present itself to me virtually every day if I pay attention to them and remind myself to be aware of having the intention to offer love, kindness, grace and charity to those around me. There was an incident where I saw a lady sitting down on the cement path near a shopping centre, smoking a cigarette and had another in her hat while waiting for passersby’s to drop money into her hat. She asked me and to be honest I had no change on me. I remember saying ” It’s a shame you’re smoking cigarettes”. My concern for the person’s health outweighed her request for money. As i was thinking what could I do instead, I thought perhaps I could buy her food as I entered the shopping mall. I went and did my task that I came to do first and completely forgot about the lady, until it was too late! I missed the opportunity! i didn’t remind myself of the importance it might have meant for this lady to acknowledge her needs. Not to mention that she, like me, is made in the image and likeness of God Himself and deserves the respect, the recognition that she is worthy of her basic needs being met!
Cathy

August 29, 2020 at 2:23 am

It is especially difficult to refrain from judging during the current US presidential election campaign season. People seem to have closed their minds, hardened their hearts and solidified their position without benefit of honest debate or fact checking. Sad times for the USA!