7 July 2021
It came out of the blue. I was not prepared. My co-worker leaned across to my desk and said with a “harsh” voice. “Don’t ever tell me to do that again!” I was like a deer in headlights, as the saying goes. I had no idea where it came from. Why it came. I was stunned. So I said, “oh I’m sorry”, not truly knowing what I had done to offend her?
I started questioning why? What did I say? What just happened? Then after reflecting upon the whole scenario, I heard a quiet voice within me. “Don’t take offense. Your co-worker was speaking out of her past hurt. She heard your words, misinterpreted the situation. Your heart was in a good place. Let it slide.”
How often do we and others take offense about what people say? What people don’t say? How people include you or exclude you?
The Books of wisdom in the Old Testament spoke on this.
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11 ESV
Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.
Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 ESV
And Jesus taught on it often. Don’t look at the speck in someone else’s eye, look at the plank in your own.
If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Luke 17:4 ESV
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.
Leviticus 19:18 ESV
Sometimes more often Jesus showed us how to act towards our fellow man. He did not always use words. His dying on the cross for US – showed us this statement in 1 Peter 2:23.
When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
1 Peter 2:23 ESV
That evening, upon further reflection, I felt hurt that my co-worker did not know me well enough that I would not act like, or have an attitude towards her, that was unhelpful or demeaning. She felt I had not helped her. Had ‘thrown her away.’ I thought I had guided her to where she needed to look.
Communication and interpretation of words can cause huge arguments if you let them. I cried a few tears (later), took a deep breath, took the displeasure on the chin, and said I was sorry, if she had thought I was fobbing her off. I don’t want to hold a grudge. I don’t want to show bitterness towards her. I realised it all came from past things in her life, when as a little girl, people had put her down.
I then quietly asked the Holy Spirit to fix it all and show me in future where I might be able to use wiser words. I asked that the Holy Spirit shower her with Grace to HEAL and me with Grace to have kindness and understanding. I went to work the next day, NOT having a bad thought or feeling towards her. God’s GRACE works! And I’m believing that somehow, I can dispense MORE GRACE to her via The Holy Spirit who breathes LIFE into me, for He is the GIVER OF LIFE. In more ways than one.
May these jottings from my journal inspire you to believe in and fall in love with Christ- the hope of the world, as stated in Jeremiah 17:7, ‘Blessed is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the Lord and whose hope and confident expectation is the Lord!’
Love
Rosemary
Every week groups of ladies meet together to chat about the things I raise in my weekly blog post and to chat about life in general. We call these ‘Heart Connect’ groups. If you would like more information please click HERE.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Are there times in your life where you have misinterpreted what someone has said? Or has someone misinterpreted what you said?
Where can you be guided by the Holy Spirit to offer grace in these situations?
7 Comments
Mary Dickinson
A timely reminder message for me; currently having this problem/situation with my very adult daughter. When we were both younger it didn’t seem to happen! Silently calling on the Holy Spirit to step inbetween us, is the best answer to prayerfully help me into a greater space and place.
Thank you Rosemary for sharing.🍃
Rose
Yes I really need this reminder: when wronged I will always speak up but negative feelings will snowball.
Next time I will call upon the Holy Spirit like your example & I will share your jottings with my friends too – all of us are always too rash to react…
God bless you, Bruce & the ministry!!
Vivienne
Thank you Rosemary for sharing your thoughts. Your message will help me to say as you do “Come Holy Spirit”, be with me & my spouse. We both need our God in different ways at the moment. God Bless.
Rae
Many thanks Rosemary for your inspiration and realistic message. So many times unintentionally have I spoken and it’s been taken the wrong way passed on to others causing a line of lost friends through so called gossip. Personally I’m not a gossip person have learned to now choose my words more carefully and will endeavour to call on the Holy Spirit for guidance and help, Thank you again for sharing. God Bless you.
Susan A Cutshall
Thank you, what joy to read your message of grace and hope. Yes, I shall be saying “Come Holy Spirit”. You have refreshed my day.
Thank you and God bless you!
Valerie Simms
Thank you Rosemary for sharing this experience that you had and how you resolved the problem
by praying to the Holy Spirit about the person and the situation. Also by praying to the Holy Spirit as to what you could do to help.
Thank you for this helpful example, that I would like to put into practice too! It’s so easy for me to use the excuse that I have been
brought up in an Italian family, so explosive words and arguing is seen as normal occurrances. To be honest they are nasty habits
that are used to satisfy the flesh’s urge for revenge from hurt, to win the arguement at any cost! To follow Jesus’ examples and His
Word may be the hardest but the BEST and RIGHT APPROACH! And to ask the Holy Spirit to help is the BEST, RIGHT AND ONLY HELP
I NEED! Who and what can compare with God’s help? God bless you Rosemary!
Angela Mester
I really don’t know how or why, things between my younger brother and I relationship was always very “hard” and ” intense ” and I was always looked down like I wasn’t good enough to him . Our so called relationship was no relationship, I couldn’t understand why it was like this so we stop talking. It was to hard and I was soooooooo hurt that it was best that I stayed apart from him. So for many years we didn’t talk and I avoided him at all times even what there was family get togethers, I would always find a way not to show up. I decided that nobody understand me and don’t care about my feelings. So now I stayed away from my whole family.
After so many years like ( 5 years ) or more i just lost count , my older brother called me up and mu aunt and told me that my dad was very sick, I asked how sick ? They all told me that he has very little time.
I was so angry and disappointed in them and myself, that I just didn’t know how to go back and I was still so hurt and angry that I didn’t think it would make a difference if I saw him or not.
My husband came to me after many days later after that call , he said to me go to him and patch things up before it’s to late and forgive him and your self we all make mistakes in life.
So the next day I went to see him and mom we had a talk we all felt uncomfortable with each other but it got easier as time went by, things with my bother was not better at all we just stayed away from each other. Dad did pass away 4 months later.
I than saw my self in a different light and I cried out to God and I said ” lord I don’t understand where I want wrong with my bother and my family please fix things with each one of us. Please start with me first and then with my brothers and my mom.
It took a long time but God heard me that now I do have a friendship with my younger brother and my mom and my older brother, it’s not perfect but we try to be more respectful to each other feeling.
The thing that stood out to me in the scripture that we need to forgive to be forgiven, WOW that was a hard one for me , because I would go around thinking that I never did anything wrong. I need to stop myself and take a very good look at myself and say there are things that you say and do that are hurtful to othet either you ment it or not. You need to start with you before you see it from other . That what my inner voice said to me. I surrendered and had God work in me and then my family.
Thank you lord Jesus Amen 🙏 🙌❤