Blaming Others

A conversation with Willow, my five-year-old granddaughter, and her Mum went something like this… They were driving in the car.

“Mum, I need water.”

“Well, did you bring your water?”

“No, you have to bring it.”

“It’s not my job to bring you water. If you want it, you need to bring it. I bought water bottles for you all.”

“But humans need water to survive!” was Willow’s reply.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any, you should have brought it.”

“But Jesus is the one that provides water.” Willow said.

Mum’s reply to this drew a major eye roll and glare from Willow.

“He has…. it’s currently raining.”

Mum then told her jokingly, when they stop, “to stick her head out the window with her tongue out and catch some rain.”

Willow’s final reply, “No, cos you’ll tell me off cos I might get my head chopped off!”

I had to laugh.

How often do we blame someone else for things that we should have done ourselves? Willow knows that everyone brings their own water bottle to the car when they go out. Belonging to a family of six and trying to be careful in spending, especially when things cost so much these days, all their family members know that a drink will not be bought for you. You bring your own water. Mum resolved the situation to everyone’s contentment, when after picking up one of Willow’s sisters, (who had her water bottle with her) Willow finally got her drink.

I felt as an outsider listening in to this conversation that I often, in years gone by, would excuse my behaviour, my laziness, my lack of diligence with any reason, and blame someone else for my mistakes.  I was just like Willow. Blaming Mum for not bringing the water.

Blaming God that He did not care for me.

Blaming my Mum or Dad for not teaching me…. not being able to provide for me, the litany goes on……

We so often don’t want to take the blame, to own up to our mistakes. Extending this idea further we judge that people are unfair to us but don’t often see when we are unfair to them.

In the book of Matthew Jesus stated that we often see the speck in our brother’s eye, and we don’t see the plank in our own.

³ Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, while the log is in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.

Matthew 7:3-5 NRSV

 And again, in Romans 2:1-29

Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgement on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things.

Romans 2:1 NRSV

Willow was just being a forgetful five-year-old who had forgotten her water bottle. But she did blame her Mum for not having water for her. She needed to realise that she was becoming old enough to take responsibility for her own things and actions.

Are we old enough to realise that we need to take responsibility for our actions and decisions? For our things?

The next day the family went out to visit some friends, as Willow hopped into the car she stopped and turned back towards the house.

 “Wait. I’ll be there in a minute. I forgot my water bottle!”

May these jottings from my journal inspire you to believe in and fall in love with Christ- the hope of the world, as stated in Jeremiah 17:7, ‘Blessed is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the Lord and whose hope and confident expectation is the Lord!’

Love

Rosemary

Every week groups of ladies meet together to chat about the things I raise in my weekly blog post and to chat about life in general. We call these ‘Heart Connect’ groups. If you would like more information please click HERE.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

How often do you judge and blame others for things that you should take responsibility for?

How often do you pass judgement on others?

What can you do to look at your own actions?

The sacrament of reconciliation gives us an opportunity to reflect on who we are and where we pass judgement. Do you think that you could attend reconciliation? Has your experience of reconciliation helped you to reflect on your own actions?