24 February 2021

My ten-month-old granddaughter Abigail is at such a cute age. She waves goodbye to you. She plays peek-a-boo and giggles, she chuckles. Stands on her own when she does not know it and loves looking and smiling at herself in the mirror. Looking at herself in the mirror it is gorgeous to see. She pulls faces at herself, laughs and chatters to the little girl she can see. Who knows if at that age they realise it is them they are seeing in the mirror, or do they think it is another little baby?

The next day I stopped to look in the same mirror to check if my hair needed brushing as I was heading out the door on an errand. I laughingly made a face at myself then stopped midway. The whisper in my head was very audible.

‘Yes, go take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? And not just on the outside but on the inside. Are there areas in your Life that you need to look at? Are you Happy on the outside but not on the inside?’

Then the voice was gone, but not the impression it had on my heart.

This season before Easter is a time where we need to ask ourselves some long, often hard, honest questions. God wants us to be laughing and happy and content in who we are, in who we are in Him. But we need to honestly face the person that we are. I started as I walked out the door, to do a checklist. An examination of myself. Of my deep, true self. I truthfully, no cupboards spared, started looking at my character and at my actions. Do they coincide? Or are they inconsistent?

An examination of conscience. Am I honest? Am I trustworthy? Have I….. the list of questions went on. I then remembered at times in the last few months when I had been unreasonably impatient with my husband. I had only thought of myself.

Then memories came back when I felt I had dishonoured the Lord. I could even picture the scene. It was when I was a teenager. Yes ok, less mature in life and disciplines but dishonouring, nevertheless.

I felt compelled to ask for forgiveness. To my husband. To my God.

I did not feel condemned at all. Just convicted that I was not living the way I should. I felt God was searching my heart. Was wanting me to search my heart.

I know my God, that you search the heart, and take pleasure in uprightness;…

1 Chronicles 29:17 NRSV

God was wanting me to have a good, long hard look in the mirror. Even if it made me make a face that was not full of joy. I even may burst into tears at what I find, but joy, peace and His mercy comes in the morning.

²² The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
    his mercies never come to an end;
²³ they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23 NRSV

In the book of Proverbs it tells me some of the blessings if I walk in integrity.

⁶ For the Lord grants wisdom!
    From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
⁷ He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.
    He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.
⁸ He guards the paths of the just
    and protects those who are faithful to him.

Proverbs 2:6-8 NLT

So, I’m still working on the stuff in my life that the Holy Spirit wants me to work on. It may take a while. But I am not alone. The Spirit gives me strength and mercy and Grace to help me.

I may never look in a mirror the same again but that’s a good thing. For I can only get better with God’s help. With God’s love and God’s faithfulness. And it is truly what I know will ultimately make me happy. Make me Holy. It is what we truly, if we are honest, all want to attain.

May these jottings from my journal inspire you to believe in and fall in love with Christ- the hope of the world, as stated in Jeremiah 17:7, ‘Blessed is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the Lord and whose hope and confident expectation is the Lord!’

Love

Rosemary

Every week groups of ladies meet together to chat about the things I raise in my weekly blog post and to chat about life in general. We call these ‘Heart Connect’ groups. If you would like more information please click HERE.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Do you need to take a look in the mirror? If you search your heart what is God asking you to do?

Who do you need to ask for forgiveness? Where do you need to change?

Are you walking in integrity?